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Forgive me World for I have blogged. RIP Granny

I’m not good with words. Hopefully, for this one moment in time that can change because I actually want these words to mean something. My family lost its matriarch last night when my granny died. I’ve lived with her all my life, she was my mother, friend, teacher, debater, storyteller, master banana pudding maker, and any other ‘er’ I could possibly want and ask for in a granny.

She helped raised me and I owe her more than I could ever pay. No one was more unintentionally funny than my granny, any funny story that people who knew her have- comes from her not trying to amuse, just her being Rosa Mae Ellsberry, I love that- as important as her raising me was, THAT trait, selfishly, was my favorite thing about her.

I still can’t believe life is supposed to go on without her, with no pause, or timeout, I can’t even be excused from Math next week! She was a constant presence in my life that’s gone now. I’m a mopey sack of mope, and when I think I’m better, a memory, or thing, or the not smell of breakfast being made for me this morning, brings me down again. I’ll get better though, because I have to, and because it’d be a disservice to her if I let this heartbreak hold me down too long. As much as we still want her here, we just don’t need her anymore (That was a bastard to write). 

She has done everything and then some for us, nothing left for her to do here. She accomplished everything a person can hope to accomplish in life, and left a legacy that’ll continue to honor her. If there was any more she felt she HAD to do for us, I know in my heart she would still be here. Granny built my foundation and the best thing I can do is take what she built and build on it, and try to make her proud, not all the times though! A Lance that makes his granny (Or anybody) proud 100% of the time is obviously a robot or shapeshifting alien, and should not be trusted! 

…When asked about the stories he likes to write my favorite storyteller Joss Whedon said, “make it dark, make it grim, make it tough” but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.” I believe that can be paraphrased to life. No matter how bad things get, don’t lose your sense of humor, don’t lose yourself, especially when mourning a loved one, remain the person they loved, unless you suck, then… you know, change some things… Life is hard, short, stupid, weird and ironic and deserves to be laughed at! Sense of humor is honestly the best and most interesting thing us meat bags have, that’s probably more of a personal opinion though. 

 I felt compelled to write something for myself, and it kind of went on longer than I intended… sorry. Thanks for bearing with me.

I love you granny and will miss the hell out of you. I know you’ll be rolling your eyes at me from heaven, I just hope I can make you smile too. Love always, your one and only Buffalo Butt- Lance

Thwarting you has never been my primary ambition, I promise you…although who doesn’t like to see their friends fail now and then?

You’re so right. For instance, when I thwarted your plan to give Sansa Stark to the Tyrells. If I’m going to be honest, I did feel an unmistakable sense of enjoyment. But your confidant, the one who fed you information about my plans, the one you swore to protect…you didn’t bring her any enjoyment. And she didn’t bring me any enjoyment. She was a bad investment on my part. Luckily, I have a friend who wants to try something new…something daring…and he was so grateful to me for providing this “fresh experience”

I did what I did for the good of the realm—

The “realm”? Do you know what the “realm” is? It’s the thousand blades of Aegon’s enemies: a story we agreed to tell each other over and over till we forget that it’s a lie.

What do we have left once we’ve abandoned the lie? Chaos, a gaping pit waiting to swallow us all?

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